The hunt for a swine boar-friend

To have an animal on the farm without a job is a little like having a black hole you toss a few bucks into on daily basis,

you feed them, house them and care for them. 

They need to give a little back, in the form of work, offspring or be useful in some way.

With this thought in mind, we decided to breed our two gilts. 

(Gilts are girl pigs who haven't had babies, sows are girl pigs who have.)

I guess somewhere in my mind I expected this to be simple like with Daisy.
Watch for heats, call our cousin and he comes and artificially inseminates her.
Simple!
Swines, not so much.
As I have said before I grew up around pigs, but we had a boar, named Buckwheat.
(a boar is an intact male pig)
We put him in with our sow Petunia, and they did their thing.
 3 months, 3 weeks and 3 days later we had ten little piglets.
 I helped my Grandpa give them their shots and enjoyed watching them grow up.
I guess, I thought it would be this simple again. 
I started asking around for a pig AI guy.
(Artificial Inseminator)
Well, guess what?

There's no such thing around here, only out west where the big farms are.
😕 Humm?
So I started looking for a real live boar to come visit, here's the thing, pigs can't cross state lines without an ear tag and health papers.
So I found a free- borrow as long as I like -boar but, with no health papers.
Now, I could do the black suit ninja thing sneaking a pig across state lines in the dead of night, like a swine on the lam.

 Well, let me tell you I'm not into that! 

I prefer to be above board.
So I found a boar in the state with a stud fee of $250.
I called my vet to be sure the girls were covered.

Here's the latest kicker, apparently pigs can get STDs.
well, no one wants that, so I ask the guy, does your boy have a health check, well no sorry.
😒
 Moving on.. the vet also reminded me that the boar and the girls would need to be separated for most of the time and only together for about an hour a day.
If I had the barn finished this would be simple, but outdoors in winter, not so much!
So now what?
By now I am frustrated and stressed about the whole thing.
I have two customers waiting to hear that their piglets are being formed safe and warm in mom.
I have missed 3 heats in the girls and passed the cut for the spring market for the highest price for the little ones I want to sell.
 A friend suggested ordering from a website that offers boar, ahem, semen. 😖
I started looking into it.

I am not sure where they get the names for the boars, Mr longevity, Rocket man.. Ect.
Have you ever seen a boar? 

They are, well endowed!

 We're talking impressive here!
They were, also show pigs and their offerings were very expensive.
I am raising meat pigs here I don't need them to have a pedigree.

finally, finally! I find an honest to goodness pig farmer in Ohio who will send some goods at a reasonable price. They are certified healthy.
Phew, I wonder how many husbands buy their wives pig semen for their birthday?
So, the goods are on the way, but I have to do the AI myself. 😮
Oh boy, I'll let you know how it goes.

 If you don't hear from me soon, check the pig pen for my remains, because I died of horror.

The secret life of pigs.

As I picked My way through the half icy, half muddy pig pen this morning I was thinking about how misunderstood pigs are.

For example, many times over I have heard that they are, dumb, dirty, and smelly! 

Well, I have grown up around pigs and let me tell you that this is the farthest thing from the truth.

In fact, pigs are clean and smart critters!

(Don't tell Daisy but I think they might be smarter than bovines.)

Proof, pigs like to wallow this is true, but they wallow in the summer for good reasons. Wallowing in the mud does three things, it keeps them cool, it protects them from bugs and is nature's sunscreen.

 (Yes, pigs can get a sunburn)

A myth I would like to debunk is, pigs don't wallow in poo!

Pigs, when given the chance, will pick a bathroom spot, they may even have more than one. Everyone in the sounder of swines "that is the correct term for a group of pigs." will use this designed spot, from what I have seen, the bathroom is usually downhill from the house. 
They never go to the bathroom in their sleeping area. 

Bovines will drop poo bombs where they stand. I have seen them Go in the hay they were eating, on each other, and in fresh bedding, then proceed to lay in it. 

Pigs only stink when they don't have enough room to stay clean.

Dumb pigs indeed!

Pigs are also mother natures rototiller, they not only eat fruit, vegetables and plants but they also dig in the ground and eat grubs, roots and sometimes even minerals deposits. They were made to take advantage of everything the earth has to offer for food. 
They have been known to eat carrion as well. 

Pigs have a way about them that reminds me of dogs but not completely. 
I know it sounds contradictive but it's the truth!

A friendly pig that is well raised will come when you call them, They respond to their name and play with toys.

I have seen pigs pick something up with their mouths and shake it like a dog would. 

Pigs even bark, although it sound's completely different from a dog, it is also a lot more threatening than a dogs bark. 

Pigs have a lot of vocalization to communicate.

They can be the meanest little buggers too.

All tho that's all linked to personality and how they are treated.

The nicest pig in the group can turn into a pig version of Kujo if left to starve. 
Hungry pigs are mean pigs!

I like pigs, as babies, they are almost too cute to stand. 

A litter (or drift) of piglets will make you laugh until you cry!

As if they were a flock of bird's they run full speed as a pack, they stop on a dime and with one oink from a member, take off in another direction. Hench "drift."

Pigs are unpredictable, funny and strong.
They are mean and sweet, a contradiction in a blanket and high on my list of favorite animals.