To properly greet a pig.

Well, 4 days of pig breeding can be checked off my bucket list. Not that it was on it, to begin with.

Primrose came into standing heat the other day, or as they call it in Britton, brimming. As in "that little girl, there is just a brimming, ant she."

 (How's my British accent?)

We bred Primrose two days in a row.

The first time went OK. 

The image I had built up in my head; Primrose running wild around the pen. Me chasing her, with pipettes, rubber gloves and little bottles flying everywhere, never came to fruition.

Without going into too much detail for your sake, here's how it works.

The pig semen comes in little squishy bottles.

The bottles attach to the end of the pipettes (something like a catheter) place the pipettes in counter-clockwise gently squish the bottle and be patient.

The pig pretty much doses the work from there.

I watched countless DIY videos about how to do this as I was hiding in the corner of my local library hoping no one saw the laptop screen, how would one explain this, well I'm addicted to pig p**n..? Uh no!

 Anyways in the videos, they kept saying, "sit on her back facing her tail."

What? 

OK, I understand that sitting on her simulates the weight of the boar and keeps her receptive to breeding, but really?

I tried sitting on her and two things happened.

One, my feet couldn't reach the ground.

Two, I couldn't see or reach anything else.

So, this is when we employ the big strong husband.

He was there to help me anyway, so he leaned on her and handed me whatever I needed.

 Primrose did pretty well all things considered.

She did take a poo right in the middle of everything.

That's pretty normal, happens with cows all the time.

Oh did I forget to mention that this all happened during a snowstorm!

Yup, that's when Prim was ready, that's when the farmer does it!

There are no breaks given from mother nature.

Hopefully, she is kind enough to help with making little piglets.

Yum yum was in standing heat right after Prim, so my heat detection and timing was on the mark.

That's one of the hardest parts is detecting and predicting the heats.

Yum yum wasn't as easy to breed as Prim was, she danced a bit and wasn't as patient.

She is also quite aggressive when in heat. I would not enter the pen with her, she was doing the crazy stalker pig, that one of the videos warned about.

She would follow me grunting. I would stop walking and look back at her and she would halt and bark at me with her sloppy mouth open wide. I would turn away and move forward and she would stalk me again. That is not a trust worthy pig.

She must have had PMS.

Pig menstrual syndrome.

All in all, I would rather IA a pig than a cow.

A pig needs a pipette and a bottle.

A cow needs a semen warmer, a long tube. A glove that goes to your shoulder, a headlock and some luck.

Ahh, that glamor of farming!

Pray for little piglets, everyone!

People are strange, Farmers are stranger.

Disclaimer this Post has the word 'semen' in it a lot, Just letting you know.

There have been some strange things being said around our house the last couple of days.

There have even been improvised songs written.

"When the semen comes we can go about our day. 

When the semen comes we will jump and shout hurray!

When the semen comes we can reproduce our swineeeee!"

There have also been comments like-

"I spun the semen just so you know."

And

"Sweety, did you take care of your semen?"

And

  Q "Did you remember the seamen, love?"

A "Yes, it's in my pocket."

Now, we are not pervs, let me explain.

Our pig semen arrived a day late due to bad weather. We spent a wasted day waiting for its arrival and singing. 
Because semen is very sensitive to temperature and light It needed to be cared for upon arrival.

It only stays viable for a few days and the bottles need to be turned to prevent separation.

Good news is it's all here and safe, so now I just need Primrose to be in standing heat, should be happening in a day or two.

Standing heat means just that, she is in full 'heat' and will 'stand' still for the boar. I mean rock still, you can sit on her. 

She won't budge, should be soon.

Eek!

Top 10 reasons to marry a farmer.

10, They can fix just about anything.

Trust me, this one comes out of necessity. Sometimes even your broken heart.

9, They have caring and patience for animals and kids.

Well most of them anyway. I have never seen a farmer get angry with an inpatient cow.

8, They don't leave home to go to work.

This is only a good thing when you enjoy being around the one you love as much as we do.
We can spend the day apart and be perfectly fine, but we much prefer to work together!

7, They always smell of something interesting.
No boring cologne here. It could be hay or chainsaw oil, maple smoke, among other things, but you won't get tired of the same old scent.

6, They have access to clean healthy food.
If they don't grow it themselves, they know someone who does.

5, They don't need fancy wardrobe with lots of ironing.
Suits and starched shirts, or many trips to the dry cleaners, not here. Wash, dry and back to work.

4, They have stamina.
 They surely don't quit until the task at hand is completed.
Take this as you will, but it makes me happy.

3, Their muscles are earned from hard work.
Do you think it's easy stacking hay or firewood? Who needs a gym when all you do is lift all day?

2, They are loyal.
 Do you know how old their favorite tractor is?
They are not one to throw something away, they will try everything to fix it first.

1, Smarts, rugged strength!
In a society where men are encouraged to be feminized, Farmers are still real men, you can't beat that!

Disclaimer: please do not go looking for a farmer just because of this list. I defer to the best reasons to marry anyone, love, kindness, friendship.
Happy Valentines's day!

The hunt for a swine boar-friend

To have an animal on the farm without a job is a little like having a black hole you toss a few bucks into on daily basis,

you feed them, house them and care for them. 

They need to give a little back, in the form of work, offspring or be useful in some way.

With this thought in mind, we decided to breed our two gilts. 

(Gilts are girl pigs who haven't had babies, sows are girl pigs who have.)

I guess somewhere in my mind I expected this to be simple like with Daisy.
Watch for heats, call our cousin and he comes and artificially inseminates her.
Simple!
Swines, not so much.
As I have said before I grew up around pigs, but we had a boar, named Buckwheat.
(a boar is an intact male pig)
We put him in with our sow Petunia, and they did their thing.
 3 months, 3 weeks and 3 days later we had ten little piglets.
 I helped my Grandpa give them their shots and enjoyed watching them grow up.
I guess, I thought it would be this simple again. 
I started asking around for a pig AI guy.
(Artificial Inseminator)
Well, guess what?

There's no such thing around here, only out west where the big farms are.
😕 Humm?
So I started looking for a real live boar to come visit, here's the thing, pigs can't cross state lines without an ear tag and health papers.
So I found a free- borrow as long as I like -boar but, with no health papers.
Now, I could do the black suit ninja thing sneaking a pig across state lines in the dead of night, like a swine on the lam.

 Well, let me tell you I'm not into that! 

I prefer to be above board.
So I found a boar in the state with a stud fee of $250.
I called my vet to be sure the girls were covered.

Here's the latest kicker, apparently pigs can get STDs.
well, no one wants that, so I ask the guy, does your boy have a health check, well no sorry.
😒
 Moving on.. the vet also reminded me that the boar and the girls would need to be separated for most of the time and only together for about an hour a day.
If I had the barn finished this would be simple, but outdoors in winter, not so much!
So now what?
By now I am frustrated and stressed about the whole thing.
I have two customers waiting to hear that their piglets are being formed safe and warm in mom.
I have missed 3 heats in the girls and passed the cut for the spring market for the highest price for the little ones I want to sell.
 A friend suggested ordering from a website that offers boar, ahem, semen. 😖
I started looking into it.

I am not sure where they get the names for the boars, Mr longevity, Rocket man.. Ect.
Have you ever seen a boar? 

They are, well endowed!

 We're talking impressive here!
They were, also show pigs and their offerings were very expensive.
I am raising meat pigs here I don't need them to have a pedigree.

finally, finally! I find an honest to goodness pig farmer in Ohio who will send some goods at a reasonable price. They are certified healthy.
Phew, I wonder how many husbands buy their wives pig semen for their birthday?
So, the goods are on the way, but I have to do the AI myself. 😮
Oh boy, I'll let you know how it goes.

 If you don't hear from me soon, check the pig pen for my remains, because I died of horror.

Happy mistake.

It was 6 below zero yesterday and we have a foot or so of snow.

As I struggled up from the pig pen sweating under all my Carhartt layers, I walked up the barn stairs feeling much like the Michelin Man.

 I drouped half way to the hay bale remembering that I didn't put the hay sled out under the hay door, this ment two more trips on the stairs. 

Right before I turned and trudged up back down the stairs my super farmer husband (who was working on something in the corner,) said; "Babe, I forgot something in the house, I'll be right back." 

I said; "oooh, could you put out the blue hay tub for me, please?"

He said; "sure." 

So, relieved, I started preparing the hay. 

I open the hay doors to see SF spreading out a blue tarp.

I say; "sweetheart, I said the blue tub."

He said; "no, you said tarp."

Knowing we could go on like that for ten minutes I giggled to myself and thanked him.

After all, I can use the tarp. 

So I toss the hay down. Shut the doors and make my way back down. 

Now I grab the hay fork on my way out but realize once I get there that the easiest thing to do would be to take corners of the tarp and pull it.

My normal thing is to use the duck's old pool, you know the ones I mean the cheap plastic kiddy pool you get at Walmart.

The ducks got upgraded this year so when my steps to Daisies gate got too icy to carry the full hay fork down them I employed the hole riddled, retired duck pool. 

I toss the hay in it, shove the hay fork through the hay and push it like a shopping cart.

So when SF heard blue tarp, I had said blue tub.

In his defense, the saw was still running when I said it.

Nevertheless, as I pulled the tarp down the hill I was thinking that this almost seems easier. 

I tried the tub again today and indeed the tarp is easier.

I often underestimate my husband's unknowing genius!

Is that like, getting your Glam-on?

My grandmother is a wonderful cook! That comes with decades of being a farm wife and mother. She can cook for an army on a 4 burner stove, And she needed that ability to keep up with the way my uncles ate when I was growing up. 

They were two young strapping farm boys and would eat three pork chops at a meal, and there were 10 of us at a meal on any given day. 
When I moved in with my now husband, I aspired to cook as well as my grandmother. I texted her for help a few times a week, standing in front of the stove feeling helpless. 

Now she taught me everything I know, but putting into practice the things I learned at her knee is different real life!
 It's has been years now and I am married and more in the groove  with my cooking. 

(Thank goodness for the Dutch oven!) 

Lately, I have made 3 "out of the park" lunches.
 When I told my grandmother about this, she smiled and said:
 "You must be getting your 'Gram'-on!"

Lol!

Dog days of sadness.

Today as we were working in the sugar woods high on the hill over the farm, the mail person went by without stopping.

Now normally this would only mean that we didn't have any mail, but on our farm, it caused a whirlwind of upset. 

Rye started barking and Jax ran down the hill stopping heartbroken at the edge of the driveway, his tail and ears dropping with sadness. 

He stood looking dejected and hurt as Rye whined sadly, bouncing up and down, barely resisting the urge to chase down the mail car. 

The reason for this reaction is that our mail person spoils the pups with dog cookies. 

They recognize the car and run to greet it with wagging tails and slobbering joy. 

On this day, they speed past. It was amazing to me that the dogs knew it was the mail person. The road is not that close to the house. They knew without a boubt that their cookies were in that car.

I'm sure most people leave gift cards for coffee or a few bucks for the mail person at the holidays, we left dog cookies, well, we left some people cookies too. 😏

Ice, still not nice!

Some of you who read my post about the problem with ice will think this sounds familiar, but the beat goes on and so does the ice.

We had a thaw then a refreeze a few times over. This made the ice more challenging than before. 

We then had a new layer of snow added to that.
 As my Super Farmer husband went to plow the steeply curved driveway, he got into some trouble. 

Even though he was driving the 70 HP tractor with chains on, he started to slip. The blade of the plow hooked onto a pile of firewood and spun him in a full circle and took out the bovines fence. 

The tractor and he were fine, but I could not say the same about the fence. So for those of you who asked me if I had used my new fencing tool from the Christmas post yet, yes, yes I have! 

We were lucky that no posts were involved, because, well changing a post when it's frozen really can't be done.
it's impossible to dig through the frost in the dirt to set a new post. 

The ice storm that blew in from the North East the other night didn't help matters much either.

Around midnight the wind was howling to the point I began to worry about the safety of the pigs, as their pen is on a treeline.

Morning arrived with me lacking some sleep and to everyone safe and a bit chilly.

The pigs emerged from their house with a billow of steam as the body heat they were sharing escaped. 

I no longer worry about them staying warm enough a night. Their sleepy-eyed faces was a comical sight. They apparently didn't get much sleep either.

Because of the odd weather for Vermont, we have gone through about 3 Mud seasons and 3 Winters in the last few months. 

The best part of this is that even though it's muddy there is still Frost underneath. So you may start to slip because of the mud, but you keep slipping because of the ice underneath.

I have earthen steps that lead to Daisy's pen. I set one foot on the first step and slid all the way to the bottom.

Well, there goes my steps.

It's currently cold and the driveways are better, however, walking can still be tricky, it's very icy again.

 Anyone have some used ice skates, size 9?